First Annual Blind Whisky Tasting

Research for an article on Alberta Premium Whisky for Alberta Venture Magazine inspired an evening of sipping, deliberation, and description.
Creative writing teachers and comedians were present. Official “whisky experts” declined to attend. Whisky brands were revealed after the seventh glass was finished and judged.

Results below (condensed by lost scraps of paper, illegible handwriting and repeat remarks):

1. Jaimeson’s: Chrome bite, July and Butterscotch, Snap of Pine, Slow blooming firework, Vanilla, Light-smoke—The kitten’s tongue vs. the lion’s roar--What’s his face?, A nice breakfast drink possibly accompanied with grapefruit
2. Alberta Springs: Astringent, Making-out with a relative, A punch in the face and a pat on the back, Tart as tiger tears, “Hey how are ya’?”, Lacks subtlety, Sleazy to bitter in one-straight line
3. Aberlour: Sunrise with good ideas in your head, Clear scent, Remembering a grandfather, Lemon tones, Like old whats’er-face, A walk in the woods with an old friend
4. Alberta Premium: Rummy, Sweater-Smell, Odd but not fascinating, It gets in my nose, Mediochre, Direct
5. Glenfiddich: Subtle in and out, Smooth, Age and distinction, Farley Mowatt’s cologne, Subtle arc, Nice smell
6. Makers Mark: Walking in the shower and liking who you see, Cherry & water, Complex, Candle wax and burnt caramel, Lacks authenticity, Goes downhill with each sip,
7. Dalwinnie: Light and bright, Flowers from childhood, A burning log, Strong to taste with bitter under-tones, Afternoon delight in an old leather chair, Exceptional, Classic, Smooth, Inappropriately friendly, What Dad smells like, Early afternoon delight

Afterword: The graphic-novel descriptions state, “I like #5! Ermmmmm… change my mind #2! No wait, #4.” Number six is drawn on a boot.
Also, earlier detractors of Alberta Premium warmed to the whisky’s charms later in the evening, many drinks later, with ice.